Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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