mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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