Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Me too!
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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