apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize