I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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