It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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