the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
