whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
