Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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