did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
