I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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