if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
