i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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