i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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