Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
