So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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