Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
