lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
