I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize