Your tits are I can't wait for
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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