Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
the day after is always just damage control
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Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
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I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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