So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
