apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
