Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
