guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
