Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
