i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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