god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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