yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
farters have to be the big spoon...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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