I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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