And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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