never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
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Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
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Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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