uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Randomize
