***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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