i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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