I feel like I'm in dance class right now
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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