I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
