Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
