She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
