Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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