Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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