can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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