You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Soap is not a condiment
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
