she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
