Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
