Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
