she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
