if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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