I CAN MOONWALK!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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