they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
