ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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