i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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