dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
