I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
