My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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