it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
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My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
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What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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