haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Non-Jews are for practice
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
