I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
