Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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